The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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