Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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