I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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