garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
