I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
