Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
