It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
