I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
