Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
