I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
