And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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