I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize
