He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
