i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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