Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
