Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I licked your asshole in confidence.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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