I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
