Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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