he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
