I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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