hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
