I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
