I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
