If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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