wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
