I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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