Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Randomize
