He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
