Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
