he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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