I don't think brook has ever known best
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
