and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
