his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
