THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
