let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
