bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
