i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
My vagina is very pro this idea
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