end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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