I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Randomize
