No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Randomize