Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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