Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
