Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
