You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
