The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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