I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
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