ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize