Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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