girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
My feet surprised me
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
