I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
i think i just lost a toe
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
