the condom got lost in my hair
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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