I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize