I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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