I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
kristin has been a bad kristin
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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