White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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