I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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