y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
