just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
