I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
