Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
