...so i touched it.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
