I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
