I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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