weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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