We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
