"it" just moved
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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