Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
oh god the rape fog is back!
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
