Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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