More tranny stories later!
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
