Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
