used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
my poor anus
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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