Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
as a side note pls kill me
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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