My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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