we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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