As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
