one two three fourrrrnication!
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
