If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
