Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Randomize
