Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Enjoy the penises
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
