i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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