Nicole vs. Life
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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